Day 1: A Simple Plan and My Starting Weight

Today was Day 1 of the journey I am taking to lose and keep off 80 lbs. All the forces aligned to make this Tuesday in September the first day of the rest of my life. Honestly, I had given up on losing the weight until something started to shift in my mind about a week and a half ago. I think that reading the blog of Sean Anderson was the tipping point; his daily diary of an amazing, life-saving weight-loss journey (now in its 365th day!) completely opened my eyes.

It was the simplicity and consistency of his "plan" that got to me: eat 1500 calories per day, and exercise. And that was it. It didn't matter how he used the calories; just that he stayed within bounds. As I read his entries from Day 1, I wasn't hearing any fussing about organic vs non-organic, or about eating only certain foods or avoiding any foods. I was reading about a guy trying to eat his favorite foods, but in moderation. It sounded challenging and yet refreshingly simple.

As I kept reading, I saw how he slowly ramped up his exercise routine and strove for consistency in his habits above almost everything else. And how successful he was---and this is someone real and relatable, whose daily entries have that unmistakable heart of authenticity.

I really believe that I will do this. I have to do this. Being 80 lbs overweight might not put me squarely in the life-or-death category of obesity, but it makes life . . . well, uncomfortable, a lot of the time. My lower back hurts from doing the smallest amount of housework. I've noticed that airplane seats seem to have shrunk . . . . erm. Right? Same goes for public transportation seats. I'm sick of the focus of my life being on eating. I'm tired of hiding behind that. Maybe this really is life-or-death in a way, because my life has felt so diminished as I have sat here covered by layers of excess fat. My confidence, my energy levels, my willingness to meet new people . . . all of it diminished. I'm afraid to shoot for the stars. Instead I have another candy bar and try not to think about it.

But not anymore.

I'm following a modified version of Sean's simple plan in that I am giving myself a daily calorie bank of 1700 calories per day rather than 1500. I will also be building up my exercise levels over time. It was a minor bummer that today, Day 1, I woke up sick. I still had to walk the Bean (our little dog), so ended up getting in 0.8 miles of walking, but other than that I had to rest. I stuck to my calorie budget---in fact, I still have 150 calories left for an after-dinner snack---and even challenged myself to choose something for lunch from a place I've regularly overate from in the past: Boston Market. After doing a little research, I settled on a smoked turkey plate (regular size) with sides of herbed new potatoes and green beans, and half a piece of cornbread. It was really tasty, and only clocked in at about 440 calories for a very satisfying meal. My little experiment was a success! Which is great news, because more than anything I don't want my weight-loss plan to be a cause to fear "real-world" eating experiences. That was a problem with pretty much all of my past plans . . . I never did get a grip on how to eat normal food in normal amounts at the places my friends and family frequented. I never taught myself how to take responsibility for these food choices. Instead I just tried to avoid them---but eventually that always caught up with me and often caused the demise of whatever diet I happened to be on.

I felt some physical hunger at several points during the day, despite the fact that I felt like I was eating quite a bit. And the weird thing is I got kind of disappointed in myself for being hungry. Huh. Honestly, I think I'm mostly scared that hungry feelings will wear down my resistance. But that just can't be allowed to happen this time! My new watchword: Consistency. If I stick to my calorie budget and give exercise an honest, regular effort, I can reach a healthy weight and life a fuller life than I have in years. I know I can do this. I'm fortunate to have the unconditional love and support of my boyfriend, who is behind me 100% of the way. I'm doing this for me first and foremost, but I can't deny that this could have tremendous positive impact on our life together and perhaps even my career. I have made enough excuses and stayed in this rut long enough (over 5 years). I am going to act "as if" I have what it takes to go the distance, even on the days when I'm not feeling great about myself. I am going to keep doing what it takes to lose the weight.

This morning I weighed in on our home scale at 203 lbs. An all-time high. As I work my way down to around 125 lbs, I know there will be some struggles---but I'm also finally open to seeing all the positive aspects of the journey. I have faith in this.

Consistently,
Hilsie